Masks of Madness
by Princess Schatje Dreamer
Summary: Hints of Naru/Gaa. A portrayal of Gaara and Naruto's influence on him. Rated for Insanity and Madness, and because I felt like it. For SarissaDiablo. Major thanks to Toki Mirage and Momonster for editing.


The accompanying song for this is 'Don't Give Your Love Away' by VAST. It might help to find it and listen to it a couple of times, or when you are reading. Also, if you can be bothered, note how he sings certain lines - the emotions he puts into it. But anyway, enjoy!

**~*&*~**

Gaara stood on the edge of one of the walls surrounding Suna, his home. His duty. But it wasn't always home... it was once his prison. However…_'prison'_ implied that someone had controlled him... and no one did, or ever could. But back then it wasn't his home. Calling it 'his nightmare' would have been more accurate.

Now though? _Now_ he was the Kazekage. Their leader. The one people turned to for matters big and small.

He was now respected when he once was feared.

Such an incredible change, one that would have never happened, if not for one man: Uzumaki Naruto. The one person he could have, and most _willingly_ would have given his heart to... if only he thought his sentiments could be returned.

_"I am looking for an inspiration,_

_And I think I found it in your heart."_

This helpless infatuation happened in an instant. When his mind had been fracturing under the pressure, Naruto had burst in to his world in a flash of light and warmth… and then continued on his own merry way, down the path of his own journey, with Gaara being helplessly dragged along for the ride.

_"It's the kind of thing you get when you're not looking,"_

Slowly but surely Gaara found out, through Naruto's expanding influence in his life, that what he wanted - what he wanted but didn't really understand all along - he had already been given:

Acceptance.

_"It's the kind of thing you had from the start."_

Acceptance from his family. His brother and sister, Temari and Kankuro, were a steady and grounding influence. Always had been, for all that he terrified them and never even noticed back then. Even then, it was an influence that came too little, too late. His mind was breaking into smaller pieces every day, even though they had now become an everyday part of his life.

Nevertheless, this _madness_... It went beyond what most thought. It wasn't just because of Shukaku's constant whispers for blood, battle, or the screams of his victims, _death_, or even his uncle's betrayal and then death at his very hand. The assassins weren't even the final piece. All of that was superficial, only skin deep.

Tortured by the only being he could depend on apart from himself, his cry for help and companionship went unheard as he constantly fought to regain his humanity. It was his _loneliness _that was, and had always been, the root of his problems. Loneliness that brought him closer to the brink.

_"Put me on a ship that is sinking,_

_On a voyage to an untamed land."_

Gaara had always been always smart, able to adapt... a survivor. Faced with a with a world that despised him... and yet he alone could carry the burden. _He_ was the pariah. No one else. He tried to find some form of stability, tried to piece his breaking mind back together in order to find some solid ground, tried to find just one certainty, if nothing else.

But he was _alone_.

_"Take away the freedoms I wanted,_

_I understand."_

As he grew older, he came to accept his place in the world. The fact that he was a weapon...

A monster.

That one thought, that one base, that understanding of himself provided something solid, something no one would contest... It became his life. He was Subaku no Gaara, living weapon of Sunagakure. The completion of that thought into every action created who he was, which he was fine with. It was his purpose.

And he understood that.

_"Please, don't take your love away from me._

_Don't take your love away from me,_

_Please don't take your love away from me."_

The Chuunin exams came, and he had a role. He didn't question it. He didn't think of anything but how to be most effective. With his shattered thoughts and broken mind, he could do nothing else.

But… but _Naruto_... He had blown his way through those cracked pieces, shattered fragments and changed it all. He had given him a new purpose - new foundations from which to build everything upon. His interference had enabled Gaara to put the pieces back together into something resembling a whole.

He had given Gaara compassion and understanding. Without any sign of hesitation, nor the understanding that that one thing had changed _everything_, Naruto had offered a bond... of friendship, and love.

And Gaara believed that if this bond was broken - by betrayal, thoughtlessness, death, or _anything_, he'd become… something far worse than what he was before. Even more _terrifying _than before, because then there would be nothing, no_ one_ to save him from himself.

_"Please don't take your love from me,_

_Please don't take your love from me."_

He didn't want to go back to how he was.

Didn't want to go back to that bleak existence based on the sick, empty pleasure of blood gushing through fingers of sand that might as well be his own hands.

He was something so very much _more_ now. Something infinitely more useful and capable than what he was back when everything was death… black.

He was whole now. Human. Nothing could make him believe otherwise, now that that golden link so much like the golden hair of its originator was in his hands.

_Naruto_...

Come back. Come _back_. Comebackcombeback-_comeback!_

_"Put me inside flesh that is dying,_

_A ghost that wanders without rest."_

He could just envision what would happen if for some reason Naruto didn't return.

Becoming utterly lost amongst the rage and grief and heart-stopping _fear_ that Naruto would never return, that he would never see that heart-warming smile or hear his voice... If that happened, he would leave. Leave everything that he'd built for himself behind: his home, his family, his friends… he'd leave them without a thought and without even a backwards glance.

To save them. To save them from himself. To save them from the resulting insanity if _he_ didn't come back.

He'd run far away before the madness could strike and leave nothing of the person he had become in its wake, losing himself... He would curl up and die, and _Shukaku_ would reign free, screaming his happiness... and his own madness would consume what was left behind.

Garra would be gone… utterly irrevocably lost. Changed. Warped into a degenerating piece of flesh, controlled by base instincts.

Something that had no chance of redemption.

_"Buried by desires and weakness,_

_I understand."_

But that was what _could _happen. Not what _will_. Naruto will come back, eventually, and Gaara will continue to desire something _more_ from him. His love. All of his fiery, passionate love that simmered under his skin and burned. He wanted to be consumed by it...

Wanted to drown in it.

_"Please, don't take your love away from me,_

_Don't take your love away from me."_

Gaara was far more human now than many guessed. Humanity _was _something to be despised, but now the missing pieces in his life and mind were being melded together into something whole.

He was also far more calculating than any - exempting one - gave him credit of being. He knew that there were those in his village who thought that he was a weapon playing at being human. He also knew that many outside held that same belief.

But the best way to fool the masses is to hide in plain sight.

The world is far more forgiving towards someone who is trying to recover and grow... Any blunders he made politically, and offense he caused? So sorry, he was still _learning_. Who would believe that such a blunt and stunted person could cause such mishaps on purpose, manipulating those around him so that his half-formed plans already had foundation in reality? He was judging someone's character, seeing how people reacted for future reference... and not for the benefit of Suna.

For the benefit of Naruto.

Always for Naruto.

Gaara knew nearly all of the main players now. Knew which ones would turn on Naruto, and those who would staunchly support him.

He had learned what he was up against, all to keep Naruto safe.

_"Please don't take your love from me,_

_Please don't take your love from me."_

He knew that Naruto knew this. The 'Master of Masks' had taught Gaara more than anyone realized. Some suspected, but that was all.

Gaara couldn't help but wonder if Naruto knew how he felt... but he wouldn't ask. He knew that Naruto knew how important he was to Gaara's continued sanity. And Gaara knew that because of that, Naruto would never do anything to threaten that stability.

And that was enough.

He still had Naruto's love and acceptance...even if it wasn't his _love_. Gaara flourished on what he had already received...

But that didn't mean he couldn't wish for the fulfillment of his deepest desire.

_Naruto..._

**~*&*~**

And done. *slumps* 6 hours. When normally I don't put in more than 30 min... Hopefully the quality is much better?

**Big major huge-o-mungo **thanks go out to Toki Mirage and Momo... But mainly Mirage as I bugged her when she shouldv'e been sleeping and seriously luv we need to figure out how to do this baby-making buisness....

Oh yea. **Disclaimer**: I own my insanity, not Naruto. Simply criminal that, aint it?

The song does not belong to me either, though, like 'Blue', it is one of my favourite songs and has been for years. 'Don't Take Your Love Away' by VAST.


End file.
